Dear eBay Trust & Security

When you email someone to say their account has been suspended, and they write back saying they are delighted because it’s not actually theirs, it was set up by someone who hacked their account and was impersonating them, so they really desperately need to actually speak to someone at eBay, and are tired of receiving live chat links, and are not willing to phone an expensive number in America as someone on live chat has suggested, so could you ring them, you can check for information supplied by PayPal executive complaints corroborating what they say including their phone number, it’s best not to write back saying:

“Thank you for writing back to us about the suspension of your account [username]. I understand you don’t want to receive any more help links and you want somebody from eBay to ring you regarding this matter.

I appreciate that you feel this could be resolved more quickly over the phone. I sincerely hope you understand that eBay.co.uk doesn’t generally offer phone support. But I’ll do my best to help you with this.

Regarding the suspension of your account, please note that we’d like to confirm some of the details you’ve registered with eBay. I understand it may not be possible for you to send copies of the documents we suggested.

In this case, kindly send us a proof of your name and address so we can investigate this matter further. Please provide us a separate copy for each. Here is a full list of the documents we’ll accept…

To get your documents to us here in Ireland as quickly as possible, please ensure you pay the correct postage.

Please ensure that all your personal details match the information you’ve registered on your account. Rest assured that eBay treats your personal information with the utmost care.

When we receive the documents we’ll review your account and send you an email – whatever the outcome of the review.

I hope that this information is helpful and that I’ve explained things clearly. We look forward to receiving your documents and resolving this matter as soon as possible.”

It’s a good thing this arrived after eBay finally got in touch with me or it might just have pushed me over the edge. I’ve had to write back saying it’s not my account and that they shouldn’t accept any supposed proof of identity because that’s not me, the address details they put in are not mine, and as I have explained over and over, they have stolen my identity. It’s not rocket science!

At any rate, I have passed this onto my contact at eBay (as I finally have one now) and pointed out why it’s a completely idiotic response.

I have also received two more customer satisfaction surveys.